Not Keeping Score

"I love coming here on Tuesdays to escape from transactions." -UCSD PhD Candidate

From the text alert that you just got to “Would you like fries with that?,” we’re surrounded by transactions all day long. What’s it like to connect without an expectation of return?  Non-transactional community building centers on fostering relationships that are rooted in mutual care, shared purpose, and genuine connection, rather than on the expectation of receiving something in return. Unlike transactional interactions, which often rely on an exchange of goods, services, or favors, non-transactional communities prioritize trust, empathy, and presence. In these spaces, people show up for each other not out of obligation or strategic benefit, but out of a commitment to collective well-being and a belief in the inherent value of connection. This kind of community creates room for vulnerability and solidarity, allowing members to feel seen, supported, and accepted as they are.

The strength of non-transactional communities lies in their sustainability and depth. When relationships aren't governed by keeping score, there's more space for long-term collaboration, authentic support, and creative problem-solving. These communities can act as buffers against isolation and burnout, particularly in high-pressure or competitive environments. They also model a different way of being together—one that resists the commodification of relationships and emphasizes shared humanity over individual gain. In a world often driven by profit and productivity, non-transactional community building is a quiet but powerful act of resistance.